Everyone’s life has high points and low points. I hit one of those low points last week. I had entered my book Journey to Jobville in a writing contest. First prize was a publishing contract with Hay House. 2nd and 3rd prizes were publishing packages with Hay House’s self-publishing company “Balboa Press.” I REALLY wanted to win one of those prizes and alas, I did not win … my first rejection! To make it even worse, the day I found out I didn’t win was my birthday so it put a huge damper on the entire day. I was consumed with sadness and disappointment. I tried to shake the mood before going out to a birthday dinner with my husband but I just couldn’t seem to shake it off.
There are always going to be ups and downs and bumps in the road. When you hit one of these bumps, a variety of emotions can surface:
- sadness or depression
None of which feels good, so it’s really important to understand what it takes to pull you out of that foul mood. If you allow yourself to wallow in it for a while, you can spiral into an abyss that can be really hard to climb out of. This is why I think it is really important for everyone to understand what is in their nurture toolbox.
Things in my nurture toolbox
The things that help me to stem or stop the spiraling of negative emotions are:
- Listening to happy, uplifting music
- Curling up with a good book
- Working out at the gym
- Getting out and riding my bike
- Turning to a friend for support or a massive bitch session
- Eating – I am one of those people who ties food with comfort! NOT a good thing! I’m really working on breaking that habit because in the end it works against me. I feel better while I eat it but then I chastise myself for putting high caloric, unhealthy food in my body.
As you can see, my nurture toolbox contains a variety of things: reflective activities, physical activities and supportive activities. Everyone’s toolbox will be different and only you know what should be in it. Some people may feel better looking inward while others may find relief externally. I use a combination of the two. Taking the time to nurture yourself when you aren’t feeling good is really important. Suppressing or ignoring those feelings can cause health problems, relationship problems, etc …
Build your nurture toolbox
It is always a good idea to have a go-to activity or a person that can help you to get past negative feelings. It may not work right away, but even if it helps a fraction, it’s better than nothing. Don’t allow yourself to spiral or wallow in it for too long. Think about the things that bring you joy or things that relax you. Those are the things that go in your nurture toolbox.
In this instance, I wallowed in self-pity on my birthday but the next morning I went outside and did some gardening. For me, gardening is relaxing and makes me happy. Fortunately, it snapped me out of my mood which is a good thing because being a writer means there will be rejection … potentially lots of it! It doesn’t mean that you are a bad writer; it just means that your writing wasn’t a good match for the person who was reading it.
Question: What is one thing you do to pull yourself out of a foul mood?