Happy Valentine’s Day! As promised, here is my 211 word entry for Susanna Leonard Hill’s 5th Annual Valentiny Writing Contest.

The challenge is to write a Valentine’s story appropriate for children that is a maximum of 214 words. The theme for this contest is curiosity.

For more details and to read the other wonderful contest entries, pop over to Susanna Leonard Hill’s blog .

Jaina’s UFO

Cruising through space, Jaina came to a stop.
She thought, “What’s that object with two humps on top?
It’s unable to fly but it glides with no sail.
There’s a point at its base with a long, flowing tail.

I know who I’ll ask. He’s a space auctioneer.”
“G’pop, I found this in Mars’ exosphere.”
He studied the object, then shook his square head.
“Why don’t you ask the ring skaters instead?

Intergalactics skate Saturn’s ice rings.
Surely they’ve seen such fantastical things.”
She flew to the rings. She approached a skate corps.
“Excuse me, has anyone seen this before?”

No one had answers, so Jaina departed.
“I’ll go to the moon. That planet’s kindhearted.”
“Mr. Moon, have you seen this red floatie I found?”
Moon nodded, “On Earth, they are carried around.”

“I’ve seen numerous held on this one special day.
They’re exchanged by the earthlings … for what I can’t say.
That day’s drawing near. You should fly down to speak
to an earthling who’ll have just the answer you seek.”

The earthling she asked said, “I know, yes, I do.
It’s a red heart balloon. It means, Hey, I love you!”
Jaina stared at this object found light years above.
This beautiful heart was a gift filled with love!

Dr. Wayne Dyer: Divine Love Workshop on Maui

A little over a week ago, the world lost a beautiful soul and an amazing human being. Author of numerous self-help books, an international motivational speaker, Dr. Wayne Dyer touched so many lives in his time on this earth.

I am but one of many people around the world who has been moved and motivated by Dr. Dyer’s teachings. Like most people who followed him, I have read his books, watched his PBS specials and listened to his motivational CDs. I’ve also had the great fortune to attend one of his workshops in Maui.

In January 2014, my friend Jill and I attended a Dr. Dyer’s workshop, “Divine Love.” This is one of my most cherished experiences. The goal of the workshop was to help you ease the conflicting thoughts in your mind and wake up to the power of Divine Love. His goal was to teach us how to feel a connection to our highest self. The love, joy and spiritual energy produced during this workshop was almost palpable; and when I was in the middle of it all, I felt anything was possible. I came away from this experience feeling balanced and energized to walk down a different path to see where it may lead.

Changing your perspective

During this workshop, one of the things that Dr. Dyer focused on was changing your perspective.

“When something annoys or frustrates you, change your perspective.”

He told us a story of how construction outside his Maui condo was so loud that it would hinder his peace and quiet while he worked. Initially, he found that aggravating. However, rather than let it continue to frustrate him, he thought about how he could change his perspective. So, rather than think of the construction noise as a source of annoyance, he chose to think of it as a symphony. He viewed the noise as music to serenade him through the day rather than banging and clattering to disrupt his work.

Instead of seeing only the negative aspect of something, he encouraged us to try to find the positive and hold that closer to our heart.

Life after the workshop

Fast forward to a year and a half after this workshop and I no longer feel as balanced nor as energized. Rereading the notes that I had taken during the workshop and remembering how serene and balanced I felt then, I realize that I have lost my bearings. Over the past year and half, I’ve accomplished a lot with regard to my writing; but rather than focusing on the positive, it seems that lately, I allow life events to annoy and frustrate me.

When people ask me what I’m doing, I tell them my day is filled with picking up dog poop, doling out dog meds, and going on dog walks. It feels all-consuming because I hardly get anything else done during the day. This makes me feel guilty, exasperated, and dispirited. It’s not the dogs’ fault … they need my care, want my love and adore my companionship. But rather than look at that in a loving way, I find myself getting increasingly irritated with the dogs and with life in general.

So, how do I change the perspective? Instead of being constantly irritated by the things I have to do for them, I need to be grateful that I get to spend time with 2 creatures that adore me. My babies won’t be here forever, so I need to cherish the time I do have with them. Give them my love and care, but also take what they offer me: love, affection, and a dopey smile every time I do something they love.

Yep, that’s most definitely a better perspective.

My husband and my friends keep telling me I need to cut myself some slack … maybe I should start listening to them. My purpose at this moment of my life is about the care of my dogs. Honestly, if I didn’t have the time or ability to do that, I would feel miserable and guilty and feel like a failure. Somehow, I think the powers that be know that. So they have blessed me with this time to care for my babies in the best way I can.

Continuing to guide us

Although I know Dr. Dyer will be continuing to share his wisdom and love from a different perspective, it is sad to know that there will be no more books, workshops, films, or PBS specials where his positive energy can shine through.

Thank you Dr. Dyer for continuing to guide my way even after you have left your corporal form. You will be greatly missed by all who have been touched by your love and wisdom and by those who have yet to discover your teachings.

Skydiving

All too often, I think people get mired down by the responsibilities of life: kids (or in my case pets), family, finances, career etc …. We end up in a routine that becomes comfortable and familiar. There’s a sense of security that comes with that. However, every once in a while, I think it’s a good thing to step outside of that routine and do something that really shakes things up; something that gets the adrenaline going and makes you feel truly alive.

Above is a picture of me jumping out of an airplane on my 31st birthday. I have the picture framed inside a card I bought at a store called Successories. The card has the following caption:

“We take risks not to escape life … but to prevent life from escaping us.”

For my 30th birthday I had decided to do nothing particularly special to mark the event. I hung out with my BFF and she made me one of her mom’s awesome mocha cakes. Because of that lackluster celebration, the following year I felt I needed to change things up in a big way. So, I jumped out of an airplane at 18,000 feet while harnessed to a tandem instructor. We free fell to an altitude of about 5,000 feet – a trip that takes over a minute. That’s more than a full minute of falling at over 120mph!

That’ll get your heart rate going!

Adrenaline rush

According to Psychology Today, adrenaline created by an abrupt blast of stress sends a flood of oxygen-rich red blood cells through your body, boosts your immune system, and signals your brain to start releasing painkilling dopamine and endorphins.

Another time in my life when I sought that adrenaline rush was on my honeymoon in New Zealand. The Kawarau Bridge in Queenstown was quite close to where we were staying. So Gary and I decided to take the plunge again … only this time literally!

I actually found bungy jumping to be scarier than jumping out of a plane. When you jump from a plane, you’re so high up that when you’re free falling you don’t get a true sense that the ground is getting closer even though it is! With bungy jumping, unless you close your eyes, you see the ground getting closer and closer. I actually hit the end of the bungy about 5 feet from the water but Gary’s head went in the water!

Time for another rush

Honestly, I don’t consider myself an adrenaline junkie, but there is something to be said about doing something that seems wildly crazy. It’s seriously exhilarating once you get over the heart pounding fear! It gives you energy and makes you feel like you can tackle just about anything!

There was one other opportunity in Auckland, New Zealand where we could have jumped off the Sky Tower. On this one, you plummet 630 feet off the Sky Tower at 52 mph and fall towards a big red X on the concrete pavement. Neither one of us had the guts to do this at that time. However, if we ever go back, I just may have to give that one a try.

Question: Since I don’t see myself getting to Auckland, NZ any time soon, does anyone have any other suggestions for getting that adrenaline rush?

Photo courtesy of canstockphoto.com/tang90246

I’ve spent the last year, researching and learning what it takes to publish a book. After almost a year of doing this, I still feel like there is so much more to learn and that what I know just barely scratches the surface. There are still days when it all seems overwhelming but thankfully, over time, those days are fewer and farther between.

Despite feeling like I’m still a neophyte in all of this, my friend, Adele pointed out, recently, just how far I really have come. She and I attended a Meetup about publishing with an emphasis on what goes into a contract between you and a publisher. During that meeting, I peppered the speaker with questions, and I offered up my experience to others attendees. I didn’t think anything of it at the time, but later, on the drive home, Adele commented on just how much I really know and how easily I am now sharing what I’ve learned.

Tables turn

In the last month, I have had several people ask for:

• advice on where to begin if you want to publish a book
• help on critiquing their book
• advice on setting up a blog
• advice on blogging

I offered up what I could to each of them … always with the caveat of “this is what I know so far.” I hardly think of myself as an expert in any of those things; but truth be told, I have learned quite a few things on this journey.

No matter where you are in the process in gaining experience or new skills, there will come a time when the tables will begin to turn and you will be the teacher AND the student. In my mind, there are always new things to learn. So you never stop being a student. But, if you’re open and willing to share what you know, then soon you will become a teacher or adviser as well.

Sharing your wealth of knowledge

I’m not going to get all preachy and tell you that you owe it to yourself and to others to share the knowledge you have within. You can choose to share or not to share. That’s completely up to you.

However, what I will say is this. I’m one of those people who believes in karma. You know, “if you do something good, something good will happen to you, and vice versa.” To me, sharing your knowledge falls under the good deed category. If you can make someone’s life a little easier or better by sharing what you know, then you are doing something good. At some point in time, all that goodness that you have shared will come back to you. And, the extra little bonus is the warm fuzzy feeling you get when you do do something good.

Photo courtesy of canstockphoto.com/PixelsAway

It’s the end of the year and I think it’s time to reflect.
Look back at the last 12 months and try to be retrospect.
Did I have a good year? Did I accomplish enough?
When reviewing my own life, I know I can be tough.

Here is what I did. It truly seems like a lot.
So why then do I feel that really it is not?

I took a writing workshop where I made some wonderful friends.
I wrote a book proposal and I learned some marketing trends.
I have a brand new website and I’m writing weekly blogs.
I spent a lot of time caring for my elderly dog.
I’m researching traditional publishers and I’m researching print on demand.
I’m trying to find ways to get my platform to expand.

I’ve had positive moments throughout the year where I feel I can accomplish it all.
And then there are times when I worry about the failures that might befall.
My present journey is exhilarating and scary all in one.
Sometimes it seems like too much work and other times it’s fun.

This venture into the unknown is something I must do.
But what I should remember is that baby steps will carry me through.
I set high standards for myself. I really shouldn’t do that.
For all it does is cause me angst if my lofty goals fall flat.
One day, one hour, one minute at a time and I know my goals will be met.
Enjoy the process. Enjoy the moment. There is no need to fret!

I’d like to thank you all for your amazing support and love.
I’m also ever so grateful for the grace that comes from above.

I hope your holiday is filled with love and oodles and oodles of fun.
And may this coming New Year be a happy and healthy one!

During the Wayne Dyer workshop I attended back in January, Dr. Dyer said something that really stuck with me. He said “When given the choice between being right and being kind, choose kind.”

For months following the workshop, I diligently adhered to this philosophy; but lately, I realize that I’ve slacked off and fallen back to my old ways.

My husband probably bears the brunt of that. He has told me on various occasions that I always have to be right; I always have to get the last word in … to which I want to respond, “no, you do,” which of course if I did, I’d be proving him right!

My need to be right

What is it about me that drives my need to be right? Let me give you a few examples of some of the things I’ll do:

1. As a passenger in a car, if the person driving the car isn’t heading to the destination in the same way I would drive there, I casually mention that they could go a different way. Of course, this is subtly telling them they are going the wrong way. Is my way better? Probably not. Would we still get to wherever we needed to go if we went their way? Absolutely! So why was I compelled to say anything at all?

2. There are people in my world who, on occasion, repeat a story they have already told once, twice, perhaps even three times in the past. For the most part, I’m patient and I listen to their story again, but there are times when I’ll stop them and let them know I’ve already heard the story. Really?! What the heck? Why am I denying them the pleasure of telling their story again? What harm/hurt does it do me to listen? None, zip, zilch and yet I still interrupt them.

3. My husband and I will recall something that happened, but we each have a different recollection of what occurred. We’ll find ourselves going back and forth on what really happened; both of us needing the other to see that we are right with me throwing out the occasional “I have a better memory” card. Seriously?!

Putting your ego aside

The need to be right is definitely an ego driven thing. Is it an innate desire to be perfect, or a means to assuage our insecurities, or a way to make ourselves feel superior? Perhaps it’s a little of all those things. But being right is completely overrated if it comes at the expense of being kind.

Here’s the thing, We get to choose whether we let our ego come out and play.

So next time, during a casual conversation, a discussion or an argument, if you find yourself poised to launch an attack to prove you are right, consider the following:

1. Agree to disagree – everyone is entitled to his or her opinion, and it’s important that you respect that. That doesn’t mean you are wrong in your opinion. It just means you are open to other possibilities. If we can let go of our egos and not judge, we might learn something we didn’t already know.

2. Be humble – ultimately, it shouldn’t matter whether we are right or wrong. It’s more important that we treat the other person with respect and kindness.

3. Forgive – often times when 2 people are out to prove they are right, words are said that are meant to make a point but instead just come across as mean. Then when our feelings get hurt, our ego instinctively wants to lash out. Instead, we should practice forgiveness. Let go of resentment and speak from your heart rather than allowing your ego to do the talking.

Practice kindness

The next time you find yourself caught in one or those “I’m right; you’re wrong” arguments, try practicing kindness. Put your ego aside and let kindness take its place.

Now that I recognize that I have fallen back to my ego-driven ways, I pledge to be more conscientious about being kind rather than being right. I’ll let you know how that goes … or, perhaps, my husband should be the one to let you know how that goes.

Question: Are you a member of the “be right” club or the “be kind” club?

Last week I talked about dabbling outside your comfort zone and the benefits of feeling the fear and doing it anyway. There’s another element that comes into play when stepping outside of your comfort zone and that is trust.

• Trust in your ability to accomplish what you want.
• Trust that anyone or anything you need will appear as your need dictates it.
• Trust that you can overcome any obstacles or weather any storm.

In other words, you need to take a leap of faith. By definition, a leap of faith is the act of believing in or accepting something intangible or unprovable without empirical evidence.

Throughout my life I have taken leaps of faith. That said, I know that the leaps I’ve taken over the years have different characteristics.

The components that classify my leaps have had direct correlation to who I was and where I was at that time in my life. Here’s how I would label each type of leap:

• The analytical leap of faith
• The leap of faith with toehold
• The leap of faith without a net

The analytical leap of faith

Image courtesy of sfoleystudios

As I’ve told you before, I like to analyze and gather facts when making decisions. I look at my options, prepare as best I can and then make my move. I get a sense of security when I feel that I’m prepared.

In 2003, I launched a business called Tutor Angel. It was a customer service business that provided 1-on–1 tutoring for people who wanted to learn how to use a computer.

I spent months preparing guides and worksheets that I thought would be important material for each of my would-be clients. I tried to anticipate what their needs would be so I would be thoroughly prepared. In the end, I think I used maybe 10% of what I had created. Complete waste of time? Maybe … or maybe not.

Looking back at that time, the analysis and preparation were really important to me. I didn’t look at it as reducing fear/anxiety but that’s exactly what I was doing. Fear of being ill-prepared kept me from moving forward. So by writing all those materials, I was reducing my level of anxiety/fear.

I still look at this business launch as taking a leap of faith because I did get out of my comfort zone and I did venture into the unknown. However, in this case, I felt the need to get things in order before I actually jumped.

The leap of faith with toehold

There are going to be times in a person’s life when it just isn’t feasible or doable to completely change course. Financial responsibilities or family responsibilities are just 2 examples of real life issues that cause people to pause.

Image courtesy of sfoleystudios

I, for one, do not like to worry about money. For my entire adult life, I always have worked and earned money to support myself. Not doing so is really foreign to me and it makes me anxious. So for part of this year, I kept a toehold in the engineering world. I did some engineering work part-time AND I worked on getting my book published.

Keeping a toehold in the engineering world gave me a sense of security. It was a safety net in case I might fail. I still was able to move forward with my book just not nearly as quickly as I would have liked.

The leap of faith without a net

To me the “Leap of faith without a net” is the quintessential leap of faith. I would describe it as “boldly venturing forward where you have not gone before.” No preparation, no analysis, just put one foot in front of the other and see where it takes you.

Image courtesy of sfoleystudios

My friend, Ann Tardy, at LifeMoxie, is a shining example to me of someone who takes a leap of faith without a net. Heck, Ann will get a running start on that cliff and gracefully leap as high and as far as she can. If she is scared or anxious, you’d never know it. She exudes confidence like no other person I know. I have seen her bring to fruition an idea she had to create a conference that would help to empower women. She set a hard and fast deadline of when and where the event would take place and then she went about figuring out how to make it happen. Several months later her empowerment conference took place and it was a fabulous success.

Ann’s belief and trust in herself propels her forward. Failure is not in her vocabulary. Ann knows that whatever she chooses to take on, she will make it happen.

Take a leap of faith

I firmly believe that if we dare to dream big and take action toward that dream magic will happen. Is it divine power, good fortune, luck, serendipity? I really don’t know. All I know is that I choose to believe in the magic that will come when I take a leap of faith.

In September of this year, I chose to release my toehold and am now taking a leap of faith without a net. I don’t know that it will be as bold and daring as any of Ann’s ventures but that’s okay. I have to be true to who I am and I have to set a pace that works for me.

No matter what your circumstances are, if there is a dream or a passion you wish to pursue then find a way to go after it. Whether it be analytical, toehold or without a net, it matters not the type of leap you take; it just matters that you take one.

Photo courtesy of canstockphoto.com/michaklootwijk

Writing can be a solitary profession. It’s really easy to spend the entire day in front of the computer working on your book, working on your blog or researching information on a myriad of topics.

However, there are aspects to writing that aren’t solitary at all. When building a platform to promote your writing, you need to reach out using as many forms of social media as you’re comfortable with. Trying to learn the nuances of the trade is often best learned from others who have traveled this well trodden path. This means seeking out strangers who are willing to share with you the knowledge they have gained.

Honestly, I like the solitary aspect of writing. It’s not that I’m not a social person. I think anyone who knows me would probably say I’m outgoing and sociable. It’s just that hunkering down in front of my computer falls completely in my comfort zone. Reaching out to strangers and talking with them … not so much.

Despite the apprehension I feel about putting myself out there, I know it is time to do just that. So, I have joined the SCBWI, Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators. It is my hope that I will learn, grow, give support and be supported by others in my field.

Last week I attended my first SCBWI event. It was hosted at Hicklebees, a fabulous children’s book store in my area. The event allowed me to gain insight into doing in-store author readings and signings. It also provided information on how to get books sold at independent book stores and it gave me an opportunity to mingle with fellow writers and illustrators.

Getting out of your comfort zone

Playing inside your comfort zone keeps your anxiety level low. The things that you do all the time are familiar and therefore easy to do. The people you know well are familiar and therefore easy to be with. Familiarity is enjoyable and comfortable because typically there aren’t any surprises.

Pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone however, can bring surprising benefits:

• When you challenge yourself, you work harder and therefore perform better.
• When you take risks, you grow as a person.
• You feel more confident.
• You move faster towards your goals.
• You get new opportunities.

I think there’s a balance that’s needs to be struck. Too much anxiety/fear can paralyze you. A little anxiety/fear can push you to learn and grow.

Here’s the beautiful thing. If you are willing to dabble outside of your comfort zone, that zone will grow. The things that previously scared you aren’t so scary once you’ve done them and your mindset adjusts accordingly. You become more bold and daring and less fearful.

Feel the fear and do it anyway

By getting out of my comfort zone and attending the SCBWI event, here’s what happened for me:

• I made a contact with a woman who has published her children’s picture book.
• I also met a woman who might be able to illustrate my book.
• I learned how to go about selling books on consignment.
• I found out about a writing workshop that will be held next year.

Here’s the thing, you don’t know what doors or opportunities will occur when you get out of your comfort zone unless you are willing to feel the anxiety/fear and then do it anyway.

Great things can happen for you and yes, some not so great things can happen as well. But, if you only ever play inside your comfort zone, nothing in your life changes. You don’t know what you are truly capable of doing unless you are willing to take some risks. So, feel the fear and do it anyway and see what opportunities arise.

Question: How often do you dabble outside your comfort zone?

Photo courtesy of canstockphoto.com/leungchopan

Having gratitude means being thankful for what you have today. This can be anything:

• Having a roof over your head
• Having food to eat
• Wonderful people in your world
• Animals who unconditionally love you

All of these should be appreciated and cherished. I wish I could say I am the type of person who expresses my gratitude all the time to all those people and animals in my world who help me, support me, and make me laugh. Sadly, I am not. It’s not that I’m not grateful because truly I am; it’s just that I don’t articulate it often enough.

The truth is, I get caught up in day to day minutiae and more often than not that drives my thoughts and emotions. Family, finances, publishing a book consume my thoughts; dogs, writing a book, keeping up with this blog and running a household direct my actions. This leaves very little time for me to step back and look at the bigger picture. Or, so I think …

I mean really, who can’t find 5 minutes in their day to make a conscious effort to express their gratitude for all the abundance they have in this life?

I know I can, but I never think to do so; which, based on the findings of several studies, is not the smartest thing to do. Studies have shown that expressing gratitude on a regular basis can:

• Improve your sleep
• Lower anxiety and depression
• Increase alertness, determination, optimism, enthusiasm, and energy

That’s what it can do for you. But imagine what showing your gratitude to those you care for can do for them. Expressing gratitude shows generosity, concern, courtesy, and appreciation for family members and others. In other words, by letting people know you’re grateful for all they do, you make them happy. People appreciate being appreciated and I for one don’t tell them often enough. So, I’m going to change that.

My gratitude list

I told you I like to make lists. Well, here is my list of the people I am grateful for and why:

1. My husband Gary – I wouldn’t be on this journey if I didn’t have the support of my wonderful husband. It’s not just about the financial aspect; it’s about the love and encouragement that is there every moment of my day whether I’m down or up. It’s about the pride he has in me for walking the path I’m on. Mostly, it’s about having a partner who is willing to share this journey with me despite any stress it may put on him simply because he wants me to be happy. Seriously, how awesome is that?

2. My BFF Jill – Jill and I have been best friends since Kindergarten. She knows me like no other person in this world. Just knowing that she is always there for emotional support any time, any where unconditionally is freeing. It gives me a sense of security so I can go do something that may be scary and/or harebrained and know that if I screw up, she is there to pick up the pieces.

3. My circle of friends – Kris, Jill, Lisanne, Kathy, Mary, Sarah, Lynn, Rick, Julie, Adele etc … I am so blessed to have so many wonderful friends who are interested in what I do and encourage me while I pursue this dream. They would be there whether I pursue it or not, but it’s great to have so many people cheering me on.

4. My grammar cop – Rona, my BFF’s mom, who is like a second mom to me has been so gracious about slogging through my blog to correct any issues she may see.

5. My dogs, Bryce and Charlie who love me unconditionally and keep me company each day.

Wow, not hard and it only took me 15 minutes to write it down! To each and every one of you, thank you for your presence in my world! You make me strong and you give me courage to go after what I want. I am so grateful that the universe brought us together!

Practice Gratitude

Just the act of writing that list down has lifted my spirits for the day. I think it’s important to stop from time to time, step away from those things that worry or stress you and appreciate all the good you have in your world. Being thankful and expressing your gratitude is not just about the benefits it will bring to you but also the happiness you can give to others.

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” William Arthur Ward

Question: Who in your world are you grateful for and why? Share this post with them and let them know how much they mean to you.

Image courtesy of sfoleystudios

Everyone’s life has high points and low points. I hit one of those low points last week. I had entered my book Journey to Jobville in a writing contest. First prize was a publishing contract with Hay House. 2nd and 3rd prizes were publishing packages with Hay House’s self-publishing company “Balboa Press.” I REALLY wanted to win one of those prizes and alas, I did not win … my first rejection! To make it even worse, the day I found out I didn’t win was my birthday so it put a huge damper on the entire day. I was consumed with sadness and disappointment. I tried to shake the mood before going out to a birthday dinner with my husband but I just couldn’t seem to shake it off.

There are always going to be ups and downs and bumps in the road. When you hit one of these bumps, a variety of emotions can surface:

• stress
• anger
• sadness or depression
• disappointment

None of which feels good, so it’s really important to understand what it takes to pull you out of that foul mood. If you allow yourself to wallow in it for a while, you can spiral into an abyss that can be really hard to climb out of. This is why I think it is really important for everyone to understand what is in their nurture toolbox.

Things in my nurture toolbox

The things that help me to stem or stop the spiraling of negative emotions are:

• Listening to happy, uplifting music
• Curling up with a good book
• Working out at the gym
• Getting out and riding my bike
• Gardening
• Knitting
• Meditation
• Turning to a friend for support or a massive bitch session
• Eating – I am one of those people who ties food with comfort! NOT a good thing! I’m really working on breaking that habit because in the end it works against me. I feel better while I eat it but then I chastise myself for putting high caloric, unhealthy food in my body.

As you can see, my nurture toolbox contains a variety of things: reflective activities, physical activities and supportive activities. Everyone’s toolbox will be different and only you know what should be in it. Some people may feel better looking inward while others may find relief externally. I use a combination of the two. Taking the time to nurture yourself when you aren’t feeling good is really important. Suppressing or ignoring those feelings can cause health problems, relationship problems, etc …

Build your nurture toolbox

It is always a good idea to have a go-to activity or a person that can help you to get past negative feelings. It may not work right away, but even if it helps a fraction, it’s better than nothing. Don’t allow yourself to spiral or wallow in it for too long. Think about the things that bring you joy or things that relax you. Those are the things that go in your nurture toolbox.

In this instance, I wallowed in self-pity on my birthday but the next morning I went outside and did some gardening. For me, gardening is relaxing and makes me happy. Fortunately, it snapped me out of my mood which is a good thing because being a writer means there will be rejection … potentially lots of it! It doesn’t mean that you are a bad writer; it just means that your writing wasn’t a good match for the person who was reading it.

Question: What is one thing you do to pull yourself out of a foul mood?